Weston Vets win the Good Friday match against The Hornets Vets

Weston-super-Mare Vets 33 Hornets Vets 12

Potentially the most eagerly awaited fixture of the season, old enemies clashing again, the club needed something to cheer about. Weston Vets last met the Hornets Vets a year ago at The Nest and came away with the bragging rights after a hard-fought encounter.
Weston Vets were committed to retaining these, but the Hornets Vets arrived grim-faced with every intention of reversing the result and swilling beer in the Weston Clubhouse.
Memories of Easter weekends gone were of rugby derbies Good Friday, league games Easter Saturday and picking up a touring team fixture Easter Sunday. This was all mixed with the long weekend, the town hosting a hockey festival and drinking into the early hours at seafront bars and the infamous Rozel Hotel.
How things have changed and the idea of a bright spring weekend seemed to be lacking as we are with fixtures. Despite this, the rain held, the crowds started to arrive Friday afternoon, and the excitement of the old rivalry grew.
Special mention to our Captain, James Clarence Mingo Matthews, for forking about on the pitch for most of Thursday afternoon and Friday morning to make the game happen.
The weather wasn't kind to us, but the boss-eyed forker ignored the groundsman's advice and continued to fork about. Rob 'Browne Rabbitt' Harris wasn't happy with all the forking about.
After a minor altercation, both changed tactics to give the pitch a good pumping with their little handhelds, thanks to Eamon Vidal Baboon McGrath, who showed them how to pump correctly. Well done, you forking wankers.
Game day and the evening before saw the normal dropouts, some unavoidable and others well, make your mind up, but it's your loss, fellas.
The Rec on a sunny afternoon is the best place to be.
As usual, the concern was with the backs, with plenty of forwards arriving for duty. Luckily, we pulled together a reasonable array of performed and well-groomed older gentlemen we call backs, with the forwards looking on with the usual disdain.
Now we are all getting older, greyer, slower and wider, and with this in mind, the backs were dispatched to the away changing room, which instantly created a more jovial and pleasant atmosphere amongst those at the top of the food chain, the forwards.
Paul Whatley sped around, working wonders with deep heat and insulation tape to allow nine backs and 18 forwards to jog, walk onto the field of play and start to warm up.
Fortunately, there were no fatalities during the warm-up, but Donny still hadn't arrived, so Tom Wheatley moved into the starting lineup. A short briefing from the referee, during which we established what he'd like to drink in the bar afterwards, and he took an instant dislike to Dave Bird because it would save time.
It's still being determined if we won the toss but we started with the advantage of playing towards the railway station with a strong wind and the sun at our backs.
We received kick-off and started to respond well to early encounters. Before the supporters had cleared the froth off their beers, Sam Lloyd Jones had made an early break and as the steam started to leave the pistons, probably not helped by the two rolls of invisible carpet he walks around carrying, the ever-youthful Paul Sprague appeared on the inside, wheels flying, to go in under the posts with Lloyd Jones collecting the extras, 5 mins played. Weston 7 - 0 Hornets
It's great to see Paul Sprague back at the Club, Roger Drabble at scrum-half, and Jamie Rudkin on the flank. The re-start is very similar, with both sets of forwards enjoying the early contact.
Still, the Weston's backs are making the difference in the opening minutes, and it's Young to punish the visitors next as he intercepts and sprints away for our second try, 10 minutes played. Much to the disappointment of team manager Board screaming for him to go under the posts "Why wouldn't you go under the POSTS, he's a 1st team player", it was later pointed out that Milko looking more like a bottle of milk than usual had spent the previous night releasing from both ends, demonstrating this skill under the fir trees after placing the ball.
It was not a problem for Lloyd Jones, who again collected the extras. Give that water bottle a wide berth, fellas. It's Milko's. Weston 14 - 0 Hornets
Weston are back at it from the re-start with forwards securing the ball and looking strong in the set pieces. Snake hips Filer appears to be enjoying himself before Lloyd Jones appears to play basketball, releasing Flanders MVP Tom Moley Wheatly to scamper in for the third score under the posts; Lloyd Jones again collects the extras, 15 minutes played. Weston 21 - 0 Hornets
The remainder of the half was back and forth between the two sides as Hornets started to get some control, and both sides took advantage of the rolling subs to manage the players, with Weston aware they only had two back replacements. Half Time Weston 21 - 0 Hornets
The Second half started with several changes, seeing the curmudgeonly manager Board enter the field of play after wise words from his daughter Caitlin: "Get on you, Whimp", an excellent judge of character.
News had also slipped out that Donny had entered into a "Gentleman's Agreement" with his opposing prop Chase, that they'd only push inside the 22s. Donny, this will need to be looked at harder on tour; get your defence ready.
The second half started, and the Hornets had the wind advantage and were in the driving seat. Weston was disorganised despite the positive halftime briefing with personnel changes trying to warm up.
There were handling errors, and the Hornets fly-half took advantage, kicking through with nice footballing skills, on two occasions to score under the posts in 45 minutes and again in 48 minutes, quickly putting themselves back into the game. Extras were collected for one of the scores to maintain some breathing space for Weston. Weston 21 - 12 Hornets
Stunned by conceding these tries, Weston went back to the basics, securing the ball, making tackles, and waiting for the advantage to appear.
A turned-over ball set Sprague off on the counterattack, linking again with Young, who eluded Morrisey's desperate cover tackle to go in at the corner, 54 minutes played. The extras are missed but Weston had extended the lead. Weston 26 -12 Hornets
With hooker Dave Bird substituted for Burge, Benny and Burge, nice to be back propping with you, Burgy, good arrows by the way, the Flip Flop pipes up from the dugout, "Boardy, do you mind if I have 10 mins for the Hornets?" "No, not a problem, Dave; go and have fun. I'll get Rob to move your kit into their changing room".
Unfortunately for Dave, his 10 minutes for the Hornets were cut short, as no sooner had he joined the field of play in the black and yellow, he received a yellow card from the referee and was dispatched for over communication.
The referee was a good sport and allowed a replacement to maintain the 15-man status quo. Weston continued to pressure the Hornets in their 22, moving the ball across the pitch and back again. Forward driving playing and backs going for the gaps eventually told, and Drabble sniped in for the game's final try, 71 minutes, with Lloyd Jones collecting the extras. Weston 31 - 12 Hornets
Hornets finished the game strongly, Weston having to defend hard, but the third score for the visitors didn't arrive, and the Weston hoardings avoided a slapping. Full time Weston 31 - 12 Hornets
Hands were shook, tunnels were formed, cheers raised and hands clapped. The words of Sparko carried for a moment, "Happy f*****g Easter, lads, you will rise again", and were then lost as the cry of Oggy Oggy Oggy took over.
Thank you to the Hornets Vets and their supporters; it was one of the biggest crowds at the Rec this season. We enjoyed hosting you and sharing a beer or two after the game. We look forward to returning to The Nest next year.
All players listed below played their part and a thank you to them for finding their boots once again and returning home.
Tour in just a few weeks and I look forward to raising a glass with each of you.
Backs David Steele, Roger Drabble, Ross Bongo Bennett, Chris Milko Young, Sam Lloyd Jones, Jon Filer, Paul Sprague, Sam Hedges
Forwards Steve Donegan, Mark Matthews, Simon Hudson, Harry Nash, David Flip Flop Bird, David Burge, Tom Wheatly, Sam Bethell, Graham Benny Hill, Mark Perry, James Mingo Matthews (Capt), Jamie Rudkin, George Sparks, Ben Cradock, David Belfield, Stuart Board, Shaun Eaton, Ashley Russell
Report by Mark Mongo Matthews